Humor Bahasa

What is Junglish? Jungle English.. like one mentioned below:

Javelish.. The typical Javanese language: 'lho', 'lha', 'tho', 'kok', 'ki', etc

- Lho, I already bought that book !

- Kok, buying again ?

- I told you many times 'tho' !

- Lha, I didn't know tho yo... how ki !?

- Don't be like that, no....!?

Jakartenglish.. Jakarte English is marked by the 'sih', 'deh', 'dong', 'nih', etc

- That book is very good, deh.

- Can you speak english?.. yeah a little sih I can!

- Use my money first nih..

- Give me more dong..

- How sih? Little little angry..

Surobenglish is marked by 'tah' and the famous word is 'diancuk'

-Do you feel sick, tah ?

-Diancuk... he took my money !

Other exclamation words of Java: 'wo_', 'wah', 'wé_', 'jian', and 'jé_'

- Wé_ lha this book is mine jé...!

- Wo_, only like that tho!

- Wah, expensive, tho?

- Jian, Paijem is so beautiful tenan.

Sundanglish is also available such as 'atuh', 'euy', 'mah'

- Well, if that kind, it pretty so-so atuh

- It can't be that way euy..

- I am mah, not like that... anything else ?



There are also abundant 'sound effect' in Javanesse language.

- Suddenly, mak bedhengus den Tukiman appeared

- My head feels pain, mak cleng!

- Mak tlepok, I got a manggo !

- My chicken is suddenly died, mak cekengkeng

- Mak gedebug, Kampreté fell down.

- Mak jegagik.... Oh, trondholo

Bahasa Jepang Versi 2005

Pencopet : Kuraba Sakumu
Calo: Sayabisa Urusi
Penari di tempat hiburan : Nikita Sukanari
Cewek penghibur : Samakami Sampepagi
Sales door to door :Takasi Kamucoba
Rumah kontrakan : Kosewa Rumaku
Tawar-menawar harga : Kitakasi Murasaja
Pemabuk :Minumi Kabeh
Cewek penggoda : Itumu Akuraba
Kasir : Yukasi Kitaterima
Preman : Akusuka Takuti
Tukang Makeup : Mukamu Sayabedaki
Tukang Cukur : Sini Takupotongi
Pengangguran : Takada Gaji
Foto Model : Aigaya Sanasini
Model Porno : Kitabuka Kamupoto
Tukang Sayur : Sukabawa Sayuri
Gelandangan : Tyada Ruma
Pengawas Pajak : Yukira Kitaawasi
36 B : Aisuka Susumu
Dekter Penyakit Kelamin : Kuobati Anumu
Tukang Cuci : Kusabuni Itunoda
Tukang Sate : Satemura Hallalne
Penjual Keramik : Disini Adaguchi
Artis Cilik : Masimuda Masutipi


Sumber : Forum ITB

Kamus Indonesia - Cina

Polisi - tu khang thi lang
Jaksa - tu khang tho tok
Pemda - tu khang gu syur
Mencret - ha ya, be le po tan
Bau sekali - liu pa che bok
Takut - bo nya li (hokien)
Buang air besar - bo ker
Tdk jujur - bo ong lu
Sangat gemuk - bo'm be'r
Sangat kurus - thing gal thu lang
Pecandu narkoba - mei mang do yan
Sangat tdk sopan - khu nyuk lu
Terangsang (pria) - lu nga ceng
Tdk terangsang - lu ko lo yo
Tahi lalat (besar) - tong pel lan
Tahi lalat (kecil) - ku til lan
Jerawat besar - bi sul lan
Jerawat mulai sembuh - ko rang ngan
Jerawat gak sembuh2 - si yah lan
Jerawat dielus2 - wa ki la i til
Omong kosong - to kay lu
Wanita muda - ah moy
Wanita duduk gak sopan - ko ngong kong
Jago silat - wong fei hong


Sumber : Forum ITB

Seorang sopir lagi nyetirin boss bule Amrik,kebetulan lagi sial.
Mobilnya nyodok kendaraan di depannya karena mendadak berhenti.

Dengan ter-bata² ia minta maaf kepada si boss:
"Sorry Sir, I brake brake, do not eat.
After I Check, the wheel no flower again"

(m: maaf pak saya rem-rem nggak makan,
setelah saya cek rodanya nggak ada kembangannya lagi)

Begitu si Boss mau ikutan ribut sama yg ditabrak,dia bilang
"Don't follow mix Sir!
the bring that car if notwrong is the children fruit from manager moneys,
he stupid doesn't play! let know taste"

(m: nggak usah ikut campur pak, yang bawa mobil itu kalo nggak salah anak
buah dari manajer keuangan, dia memang goblok bukan main, biar tahu rasa)

besoknya si supir gak masuk kerja, terus pas lusanya dia masuk si boss bule
nanya : " why you're not coming?"
Jawab si supir :" I am sorry boss, my body is not delicious,
my body taste like enter the wind"

(m: maaf boss badan saya tidak enak, badan saya rasanya seperti masuk angin)

"I really don't know whats your point!" kata bossnya

"yes how yes?.... I am alone migrain Sir will how the speak ,
but yes already, how many-how many, people Java can speak England..."
jawabnya serius

(m: ya .. gimana ya?... saya sendiri puyeng Pak mau bagaimana ngomongnya,
tapi yo uwis lah.. piro-piro wong jowo iso ngomong Inggris..)


Sumber : Forum ITB

* Tambahan lelucon *
Terjemahan bebas istilah berbau komputer:

- motherboard: papan ibu
- keyboard: papan kunci
- power supply: penyedia daya
- plug n play: cucuk dan mainkan
- windows: jendela-jendela
- microsoft: kecillembut
- joystick: tongkat bahagia


Sumber : Forum ITB

BALADA WAKIDJAN

Wakidjan begitu terpesonanya dengan
permainan piano Nadine.
Sambil bertepuk tangan, ia
berteriak, "Not a play! Not a play!" Nadine
bengong. "Not a play?"

"Yes. Not a play. Bukan main."
Tukidjo yang menemani Wakidjan terperangah.
"Bukan main itu bukan not a play, Djan." "Your granny
(Mbahmu). Humanly I have check my dictionary
kok.(Orang saya sudah periksa di kamus kok)"

Lalu berpaling ke Nadine. "Lady, let's corner (Mojok
yuk).

But don't think that are nots (Jangan
berpikir yang bukan-bukan). I just want a meal
together."
"Ngaco kamu, Djan," Tukidjo tambah gemes.
"Don't be surplus (Jangan berlebihan), Djo. Be
wrong a little is OK toch.?" Nadine cuman
senyum kecil. "I would love to, but ..."
"Sorry if my friend make you not delicious (Maaf
kalau teman saya bikin kamu jadi nggak enak)" sambut
Wakidjan ramah.

"Different river,
maybe (Lain kali barangkali). I will not be various
kok
(Saya nggak akan macam-macam kok)."

Setelah Nadine pergi, Wakidjan menatap
Tukidjo dengan sebal. "Disturbing aja sih, Djo. Does
the language belong to your ancestor (Emang itu
bahasa punya moyang lu)?"

Tukidjo cari kalimat penutup. "Just itchy Djan,
because you speak English as delicious as your
belly button." (Gatel aja, Djan, soalnya kamu
ngomong Inggris seenak udelmu dewe).

Wakidjan cuman bisa merutuk dalam hati, "His
name is also effort." (Namanya juga usaha)


Sumber : Forum ITB

Kamus Jepang :
Orang hamil tidur di pantai ... kukira kura-kura ne
Naik kereta ................... kereta ku naiki
Ditangkep polisi.......... .... Ka zhi doku aza ne
Orang edan..................... Ora na ta warase
Orang berbulu.................. Monyet ni ye
Tanda-tanda panuan............. Yu gata gata
Obral besar.................... Takazhimura
Laper (sedikit)................ Ka zhi kue aza
Laper (banget)................. Sikate abish deh
Mobil mogok.................... Akina soakne
Orang kurang ajar.............. Mu shi di karate
Cewek kece..................... Azhika di li hate
Baru gajian.................... Doku na ba nyake
Belom gajian................... Tong pez ni ye
Belom mandi.................... Baw takse dapne
Bohong melulu.................. Tukan te pu
Pingin minggat................. Kabura aza ah
Curigaan....................... Yakiniku dong
Ngeborong di mall.............. Ngabizhin doku azani
Cewek matre.................... Nicewe berate
diongkose
Suka nyeleweng................. Takzhetie
Makan tahu panas-panas......... ni'mate ta
therasha....
Pegawai rendahan............... gaji ne paspa san
Cewek sexy kurang cakep........ mukase tan bodiketan


Kamus Mandarin :
POLISI - Tu Khang Thi Lang
JAKSA - Tu Khang Tho Tok
PEMDA - Tu Khang Gu Syur
MENCRET - Ha Ya, Be Le Po Tan
KECEPIRIT - Ha Ya, Ang Nget
BAU SEKALI - Liu Pa Che Bok
CEWEK TELANJANG - Bo Be Ha, Bo Cang Cut ( Hokien )
TAKUT - Bo Nya Li ( Hokien )
BUANG AIR BESAR - Bo Ker
TIDAK JUJUR - Bo Ong Lu
SANGAT KURUS - Thing Gal Thu Lang
PECANDU NARKOBA - Mei Mang Do Yan
TIDAK SOPAN - Nge Phet Lu
SANGAT TIDAK SOPAN - Khu Nyuk Lu
RUGI TERUS - Dho Bhol Lah
TIDAK SUNGKAN - Chu Ek
GHANDI - Si Bho Tak
LENYAP - Ke Co Pet Tan
TAI LALAT ( BESAR ) - Tong Pel Lan
TAI LALAT ( KECIL ) - Ku Til Lan
JERAWAT BESAR - Bi Sul Lan
JERAWAT MULAI SEMBUH - Ko Reng Ngan
JERAWAT TIDAK BISA SEMBUH - Si Yah Lan
JERAWAT DI ELUS-ELUS - Wa Ki La I Til
NGOMONG KOSONG - To Kay Lu
WANITA MUDA - Ah Moy
WANITA SANGAT MUDA - Bey Bek ( member's only )
WANITA KURANG PANDAI - Dang Kal
PRIA MUDA - Ah Te
PRIA DEWASA - A Chien
PRIA TUA - Ah Huat
PRIA PANDAI BERSILAT - Wong Fei Hong
PRIA BERKUMIS & BERJENGGOT - Wong Fe Lix
PRIA BERDUIT & BOROS - Wong Ka Ya Ko
PRIA PANDAI MERAYU - Kang Ci Poa
PRIA TINGGI KURUS - Kang Kung
BOCAH LELAKI - En Tong
TELOR DADAR BERKUAH - Phu Yung Hai
BERMACAM SAYUR - Cap Cay
TIDAK SUKA BAKMI - Ngai Mo Kwe Tiau
SUPAYA IRIT BENSIN - Ngai Mo Num Pang
BELUM MAMPU BELI RUMAH- Ngai Si Nge Khos
BELUM CUKUP TIDUR - Bel Lek Khan
ENAK TIDUR - I Ler Ran
GIGI TIDAK SEHAT - Boh Long
GIGI & GUSI TIDAK SEHAT- Baw Chom Ber Ran


Sumber : Forum ITB

belajar bahasa korea

Apa Kabar? = Anyong Aseo
Sampai Jumpa = Anyong
Kurang Ajar = Monyong
Tidak Lurus = Men Chong
Pria suka berdandan = Ben Chong
Tiba-tiba = She Khonyong Khonyong
Gak Punya Duit = Nao Dhong
Pengangguran = Nong Krong
Belanja = Bao Rhong
Merampok = Cho Long
Saringan Botol = Choo Rhong
Kendaraan Berkuda = An Dhong
Jual Mahal = Gheng Xi Dhong
Ngelamun = Bae Ngong
Mulut = Mon Chong
Sosis = Lap Chong
Suami dari adiknya Papa = Ku Chong
Kiss me = Soon Dhong Yang
Sweet memory = Choo Pang Dhong
Mobil mogok = Dho Rong Dhong
Lapangan luas = Park King Lot
Pantat gatal-gatal = Che Bhok Dhong
Nasi dibungkus daun pisang: Lon Thong
Cowok Cakep Kaca Mata: Bae Yong Jun
Cowok Cakep Rambut Lurus: Jang Dong Gun
Cowok Cakep Rambut Keriting: Ahn Jung Hwan
Bagian belakang = Bho Khong
Masih muda = brondhong
Pantat gatal = Ga ruk dong
Telur asin = Ndok A Chin
Sendok Gede = Cen Thong
Clana Sobek = Bho Long
Kepala Botak = Kin Clong
Lagi Menyanyi = Me Lo Lhong
Orang Hitam = Goo Shong
Bibir Ucup = Mo Nyong
Berbulu = Ge Ran Dhong
Jongkok Di Pinggir Kali = Be ol Dong


Sumber : Forum ITB

Lee Sum Wan: Hello can I speak to Annie Wan

Mr. Sori: Yes u could speak to me.

Lee Sum Wan: No, i want to speak to Annie Wan!

Mr. Sori: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Lee Sum Wan: Im Sum Wan. And i need to talk to Annie Wan! Its urgent.

Mr Sori: I know u are someone and u want to talk to anyone! But whats this urgent matter about?

Lee Sum Wan: Well just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now Avery Wan is going to the hospital.

Mr Sori: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital from the accident that isnt an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but i dont have time for this!!!

Lee Sum Wan: You are rude. Who are you?

Mr Sori: Im Sori.

Lee Sum Wan: You should be sorry. Now give me your name!

Mr. Sori: Im Sori!!

Lee Sum Wan: I dont like your tone of voice Mr and i dont care, give me your name!

Mr Sori: Look lady, I told you already Im Sori!Im Sori!! Im SORI!!! you didnt even give me your name!

Lee Sum Wan: I told u before im Sum Wan! Sum Wan!!! You better be careful my father is Sum Buddy. And my uncle holds a very big position in the company. He is Noe Buddy.

Mr Sori: Oh im so scared(sarcastically).Look i dont care about ur uncle he's a nobody. Everybody thinks his top dog and holding an important position in the company.

Lee Sum Wan: No Avery Buddy just married my aunt. And Avery Buddy doesn't work there.

Mr Sori: Like i said i dont care which one of ur aunt screws everybody and i also know that not everybody works here! Jeez!!!

Lee Sum Wan: Wheech Wan is my sis!

Mr. Sori: I dont know which one is ur sis! Why in gods name u think i do!? Look i got work to do and if im feeling mischievious i'll broadcast it on the P.A system saying. "Attention, someone called and said that anyones brother just got involved in an accident. But not to worry no one got injured and no one was sent to the hospital. But everyone is going to the hospital anyways. The father maybe a somebody but if u're their uncle, u're a nobody. "how bout that!?
Toot....Toot....Toot.................


Sumber : Forum ITB

Kenapa King Kong dinamai King Kong, bukan Great Ape, King Monkey, Giant Ape, Giant Monkey atau yang lainnya?
Jawab:
Soalnya King Kong = Raja Monyet (King = Raja; Kong = bahasa latin artinya monyet).


Jadi kalo dirunut:

-Kong Guan = Biskuit monyet (Kong=Monyet; Guan=nama merk biscuit)

-Ngong Kong = Monyet jongkok (Ngong=bahasa
sanskerta artinya duduk/jongkok)

-Kong Kali Kong = Banyak monyet (Monyet x Monyet = banyak dong)

-Kong Res = Monyet ngumpul (Res=bahasa inggris singkatan dari residu/sisa yang terkumpul)

-Kong Kow = Monyet gaul (Kow=bahasa Cina tidak formal artinya main/bergaul/ ngumpul)

-Eng Kong = Mbahnya Monyet

Sing kong = Monyet Bernyanyi (sing dari bhs inggris yang artinya menyanyi).

bo kong = Monyet Hantu (bo istilah yang sering digunakanCasperbese rta paman-pamannya, baca komik Casper).

cu kong = Monyet Tembaga (cu adalah kode unsur kimia dari Cuprum atau tembaga).

viet kong = Monyet Tukang Fitnah.

so kong = Monyet Jadi-jadian (so dalam bhs Inggris adalah jadi).

hong kong = Klakson Monyet (hong asal kata dari honk dari bhs inggris artinya klakson).

kong krit = Kritikan Para Monyet.

bang kong = Abangnya Monyet.

beng kong = Monyet Makan Coklat Beng-beng.

kong si = si Monyet



Sumber : Forum ITB

Nadine bermaksud untuk memutuskan hubungan
dengan kekasihnya Donald Trump bule Amerika
gosip terbaru kan booo....
Tapi dia tak sanggup utk bertemu muka, lalu dia
pun menulis surat...

:: Hi, my motive write this letter is to give know
you something .
(hai, bersama surat ini saya ingin memberi tahu
sesuatu)

:: I WANT TO CUT CONNECTION US
(saya ingin memutuskan hubungan kita)

:: I have think about this very cook cook
(saya telah memikirkan ini masak masak)

:: I know I clap one hand only
(saya tahu bahwa saya hanya bertepuk sebelah
tangan)

:: Correctly, I have seen you and she together at
town with my eyes and head myself
(sebenarnya, saya pernah melihat kamu bersama
perempuan lain di kota dengan mata kepala saya
sendiri)

:: You always ask for apology back back
(kamu selalu minta maaf berulang ulang)

:: I don't trust you again!!
(saya tidak percaya kamu lagi)

:: You are really crocodile land!!
(kamu benar benar buaya darat)

:: My Friend speak you play fire
(teman saya bilang kamu bermain api)

:: Now I know you correct correct play fire
(sekarang saya tahu kamu benar benar bermain
api)

:: So, I break connection to pull my body from
this love triangle
(jadi saya putuskan saja hubungan untuk menarik
diri dari cinta segitigaini)

:: I know this result I pick is very correct,
because you love she is very high from me
(saya tahu keputusan yg saya ambil ini benar,
karena kamu mencintai dia lebih tinggi dari saya)

:: So, I break off to go far from here
(jadi saya putuskan untuk pergi dari sini)

:: I don't want you to play play with my liver
(saya tidak ingin kamu main main dengan hati
saya)

:: I have been crying until no more eye water
thinking about you
(saya menangis sampai tidak ada lagi air mata
memikirkan kamu)

:: I don't want banana to fruit two times
(saya tidak mau terpeleset untuk kedua kalinya)

:: Safe walk...(selamat jalan..)


Sumber : Forum ITB

Song for IT

YESTERDAY
By : Beatles

Yesterday,
All those backups seemed a waste of pay
Now my database has gone away
Oh I believe in yesterday... ..

Suddenly,
There's not half the files there used to be
And there's a milestone hanging over me
The system crashed so suddenly
I pushed something wrong
What it was I could not say
Now all my data's gone and I long for yesterday-ay-
ay-ay

Yesterday,
The need for back-ups seemed so far away
I knew my data was all here to stay
Now I believe in yesterday

IMAGINE
by : John Lennon

Imagine there's no Windows
It's easy if you try
No fatal errors or new bugs
To kill your hard drives

Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Leaving us in peace!
Imagine never ending hard disks
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to del or wipe off
And no floppy too

Imagine Mr. Bill Gates
Sharing all his money
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And your games will fit in RAM

Imagine 1-Giga RAM
I wonder if you can
No need for left-shifts or setups
And no booting again and again

Imagine all the systems
Working all life-time!
You may say I'm a hacker
But I'm not the only one
Maybe someday I'll be a cracker
And then I'll make Windows run.....


LET IT BE
By : Beatles

When I find my code in tons of trouble
Friends and colleagues come to me
Speaking words of wisdom: Write in C
As the deadline fast approaches
And bugs are all that I can see
Somewhere, someone whispers: Write in C

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
LOGO's dead and buried
Write in C

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN
For science it worked flawlessly
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours
Debugging some assembly
Soon you will be glad to Write in C

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, yeah, Write in C
BASIC's not the answer
Write in C
Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C
Pascal won't quite cut it
Write in C


Sumber : Forum ITB

Menu masakan Perancis

Kebanyakan orang beranggapan kalau makanan yang kita santap diberi nama Perancis, akan terasa lebih enak. Hal tersebut disebabkan antara lain karena anggapan bahwa semua makanan yang berbau Perancis bermutu tinggi. Perancisisasi juga membuat orang yang akan bersantap mempunyai citra yang kabur tentang apa sebenarnya yang ia mau santap. Misalnya:
"filet mignon" (secara harafiah artinya: irisan yang lembut)
"pate de fois gras" (liver paste)
"chevalen" (daging kuda)
"Monsieur de Veau" (daging lembu muda, veal)
"Escargot d'France" (bekicot, keong) dsb.

Si Inem yang warungnya sering dikunjungi turis (backpackers) Perancis, tidak mau kalah. Dia pasang menu sebagai berikut:

CHEF'S SPECIAL:
Oucing Pete de Chine (Oseng Pete Cina)
Chateau de Batavie (Soto Betawi)
Saiyour de Lourdes (Sayur Lodeh)
Roujaxe d'Oleque (Rujak Ulek)
Café a la Tobruq (Kopi Tubruk)
Cappuccino de Preangers (Bajigur)
Naxis Geaux rain (Nasi Goreng)
Vouz vour que tans Noir (Bubur Ketan Item)
And special today:
Loun Tounqe Saiyour [Lontong Sayur]

Hab Max Janoux Lufaz Bayaour = Habis Makan Jangan Lupa Bayar !!

Zalmz,
Inem de Lennox


Sumber : Forum ITB

lol

waduh
byk banget....pjg2 lg...
wa baca ampe capek ne
wew
tp keren2 tuh
wkakaka...lol

Tapi keren kan..

Tuh, gw kasih banyak2 supaya banyak stok ketawa...