lar

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."

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A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman.

zzz..
da perna baca w..
wakakak..

keren2... keep posting jokes...
buat refreshing bagus nih...

One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

Ultimate divorce letter:-

Dear Husband

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for
good. I've Been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing
to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you Had quit your job today and
that was the last straw. Last week, you came Home and didn't notice
that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your
Favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee.

You came home and ate in Two minutes, and went straight to sleep
after watching the game. You don't Tell me you love me anymore, you
don't
touch me or anything Either you're
Cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm
gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are
moving away To West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-wife
***********************
Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true
that you And I have been married for seven years, although a good
woman is a far cry From what you've been. I watch sports so much to try
to
drown out.
Your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when
you cut Off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to
mind was "You Look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say
anything if You can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite
meal,
You must have Gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped
eating pork seven Years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on
that
new negligee because The price tag was still on it. I prayed that it
was a coincidence that my Brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from
me
that morning and your Negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we Could work
it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten Million
dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica .

But When I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason
I guess. I Hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer
said with your Letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So
take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was
born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," said the policeman. "The detectives want very badly to capture him." Little Johnny asked, "Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"

A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. So she went to a playground, grabbed a kid, and took him behind a tree. "I've kidnapped you!", said the blonde and then proceeded to write a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and place it under the pecan tree next to the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked under the tree and surely enough, a paper bad was sitting there. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

yg terakhir apa y maksudnya?? gw kaga ngerti tuh. hix..