A first-grade class is having a game of Name That Animal.
The teacher held up a picture of a cat.
"What animal is this?" she asked.
"A cat!" said Eddie.
"Good job! Now, what is this animal?"
"A dog!" said Eddie.
"Good! Now what animal is this?" she asked, holding up a picture of a
Deer. The class fell silent. After a couple of minutes, the teacher said,
"It's what your mom calls your dad."
"A horny ba5tard," called out Eddie.
A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon. When
they got back, the bride immediately called her mother.
"Well", said her mother, "so how was the honeymoon?"
"Oh mama", she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic"
......Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we
returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean,
all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to take me home!
"Sarah, Sarah", her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with
your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful?
WHAT 4-letter words?"
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter. "I'm so
embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your
mother these horrible 4-letter words!"
Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used words like: dust,
wash, iron, and cook..."
"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.
Don't give up...
it's just the way of the world
when your heart's heavy i will lift it for you
Don't give up
U are loved...