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CRYZT@LZ_RUD
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PostSubject: jokes neh..   Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:32 pm

Two Blonde men were in the woods hunting. One looked at the other and said, "I've got to take a shit."



The other said, "Well go behind one of those big trees, and shit."



The first one said, "But I don't have any paper to wipe my ass." The other blonde replied, "You have a dollar, don't you?"



The first one said, "Yeah, I've got a dollar. That's a great idea-- I'll use that!"



He left and came back with shit all over his hands and clothes.



His friend looked at him and asked, "What in the hell happened to you?"



The first one replied, "Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with 3 quarters, 2 dimes, and a nickel?"

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CRYZT@LZ_RUD
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PostSubject: Re: jokes neh..   Mon Mar 12, 2007 12:36 pm

During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one
day. He went up to the bartender and said, "Bartender, I'd like to buy
the house a round of drinks."



The bartender said, "That's fine, but we're in the middle of the Depression, so I'll need to see some money first."



The guy pulled out a huge wad of bills and set them on the bar. The
bartender can't believe what he's seeing. "Where did you get all that
money?" asked the bartender.



"I'm a professional gambler," replied the man.



The bartender said, "There's no such thing! I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right?"



"Well, I only bet on sure things," said the guy.



"Like what?" asked the bartender.



"Well, for example, I'll bet you fifty dollars that I can bite my right eye," he said.



The bartender thought about it. "Okay," he said.



So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it. "Aw, you screwed me," said the bartender, and paid the guy his $50.



"I'll give you another chance. I'll bet you another fifty dollars that I can bite my left eye," said the stranger.



The bartender thought again and said, "Well, I know you're not blind, I
mean, I watched you walk in here. I'll take that bet." So, the guy
pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.



"Aw, you screwed me again!" protested the bartender.



"That's how I win so much money, bartender. I'll just take a bottle of
your best scotch in lieu of the fifty dollars," said the man.



With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of
the night playing cards with some of the locals. After many hours of
drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Drunk as a skunk,
he said, "Bartender, I'll give you one last chance. I'll bet you five
hundred dollars that I can stand on this bar on one foot and piss into
that whiskey bottle on that shelf behind you without spilling a drop."



The bartender once again pondered the bet. The guy couldn't even stand
up straight on two feet, much less one. "Okay, you're on," he said.



The guy climbed up on the bar, stood on one leg, and began pissing all
over the place. He hit the bar, the bartender, himself, but not a drop
made it into the whiskey bottle.



The bartender was ecstatic. Laughing, the bartender said, "Hey pal, you owe me five hundred dollars!"



The guy climbed down off the bar and said, "That's okay. I just bet
each of the guys in the card room a thousand bucks each that I could
piss all over you and the bar and still make you laugh!"

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dank
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PostSubject: Re: jokes neh..   Mon Mar 12, 2007 3:43 pm

hahhaha
gile bener
hahaha
cool2
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sendy
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Registration date : 2007-03-13

PostSubject: ^^   Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:56 am

hihi..
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